Q.) Bhagavan, could you please explain what is true Love?
SRI BHAGAVAN: “OK. Before understanding what is true love let us know what is the current state of man. Today, basically most of you are beggars of love. You want others to show you love. You don’t give love. What you think is love, is actually craving for love. That is why when people love each other it is actually that, “She needed his need for her, and He needed her need for him.” Of course, you also give love. But what kind of a love is that? It is very conditional love. Suppose your husband takes care of you very well, you love him. If he drinks and ill-treats you and doesn’t fulfil your expectations, do you love him? No. If your parents are very nice to you, you’ll love them. Similarly if your children are very successful, you’ll love them.
Sometimes when I meet some children’s parents, whose son is in the US, a software engineer, they are thrilled about it. They refer to their own children as “AAP”. But if he is a porter in the railway station or airport, they will use “TU” or some such word. So what is your love for your own child? That is why 2000 years ago Avvaiyaar said “Kondu Vandal tagappan”(i.e. Unless you succeed, your father doesn’t care for you.) The son must succeed, only then the father respects him. Similarly, if the wife is very nice, very beautiful, the husband loves her. If she gets small pox or cancer and she is disfigured, there is embarrassment and discomfort. There are always thoughts like there is nothing more to life, there is fear of society and dissatisfaction. So what happened to that love? So this is conditional love.
There are yet other people who think they love, for e.g. some social workers. They feel they are compassionate and want to give up their lives for people. But what they don’t understand is the so-called compassion and love they feel is coming out of a concept, conditioning and a trauma. These people can be called self-righteous people.
So where you are begging for love, that is not love. Where there is attachment and possession and making use of people that is not love. Love born of concepts and conditioning is not love. So, what you know is conditional love. You can see it in your own relationships.
But there is also a causeless love. There is no reason for causeless love, it is simply there. That is the love I am talking about. Only if you discover THAT love you can enter Sathyaloka. Otherwise you just cannot enter because your body frequency will not vibrate with Sathyaloka. So you should love your wife just because she’s there. That’s all. Not because she is beautiful or she is a rich man’s daughter or that she cares for you or as a duty. It is spontaneous. That is causeless love. It is your true nature actually. It is not something to be acquired. You can never acquire anything. You can only be what you are. That is your real nature. Some of you would have experienced this love sporadically in your lives. But unfortunately the mind takes over. So if you discover this love, then the world will be a different world.”
Devotee: Bhagavan with your grace we will try our level best to discover this causeless love.
(Sri Bhagavan laughs) SRI BHAGAVAN: “See, you cannot try to love, that will never happen. What do you know about love? All that you know is, you have jealousy, selfishness, anger, hatred, lack of love and therefore craving for love. That is the truth about you. You are not a Mahatma Gandhi, Surdas, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. You are only what you are. Isn’t it? So all that you must do is, “become aware that you don’t have love, love starts happening automatically. You have been trying to love, but where have you changed one bit? You are exactly where you were. So now stop trying to become, BE exactly what you are. See the terrible things in your heart. How when somebody comes to you, you smile and say hello sir welcome… but that is not the truth. Inside you are thinking, why did he come now? Actually you are putting on a nice mask. You have never faced the actual you, the truth. The truth has gone far behind. I do know devotees, they wear a mask even before Me and I also go along with them. (Bhagavan says this smilingly) Why should I take out their masks? That would be too painful for them. That mask is there because of the society, education, culture etc. People think that is the only way to survive. We cannot help it.
When people get married, there is joy in their relationship in the beginning. Slowly the mask (images) sets in the wife and the husband also develops the mask. And the mask begins to relate. The real person has withdrawn. There is no more joy in the relationship. That is how your hearts get closed.
So, all that we are telling you is ‘become aware of your games.’ Just do that. That’s all. I am not asking you to be a saint or a sage. You are horrible people, terrible people, isn’t it? (everybody laughs). Embrace that thing. ‘Yes, I am horrible, I am terrible.’ Love that. Love yourself and you’ll see the great miracle happen. You will discover love.”