The rain was battering incessantly outside. The storm water drains were overflowing and it seemed that all of nature was roaring in anger.
Latika stood at the window pane observing the torrent. The turmoil in her inner world seemed no less. It was a tornado. Her world seemed to have come to a standstill.
The events of the past few months flitted before her.
Everything seemed to be flowing smoothly. She had a dream job after completing her Masters in Business Administration. Her ample company quarters in upmarket Mumbai enabled her to bring down her parents from Bangalore to stay with her. Being a lone child, her parents, peers et all applied constant pressure for her to get married and she had finally succumbed. She went in for an arranged marriage with Ashok, after the mandatory matching of horoscopes.
Ashok seemed a great sort in the time she had known him, an extension of her dream manifests. He was very comfortable with her supporting her parents and gave her, her own space, something she cherished deeply. He was caring and valued their shared space.
It all seemed so beautiful until…
Sep 5, 2005. Her mobile ring sought her attention. She was expecting Ashok’s call from the airport on his way back from Delhi. It was his mobile number, but the voice was different. In hurried tones, the voice informed her that Ashok had met with an accident enroute to Delhi airport and lost his life.
Latika’s life came to a standstill……Though marriage was one “aspect” of her life; everything seemed to have got shattered. The fact that she was a successful and respected professional with a wide network of friends and acquaintances hardly mattered.
A constant question plagued her…Why did this have to happen to me?
Resentment, frustration, anger…the list was endless…
And much of her resentment was directed at her parents at whose insistence she went in reluctantly for an arranged marriage. The astrologer was nowhere to be seen. She saw herself as a modern woman who had carved a niche for herself, taking charge of her life in all aspects..well, almost, she thought. She had left the decision of her marriage to her parents and accepted their abilities and discretions in the matter. And now, this had to happen after they had convinced her of the infalliability of astrology and their astrologer.
While she knew they did what they felt to be best for her, she found it difficult to forgive them, making them responsible for her situation.
She was paralyzed into inaction…
Until it dawned on her that she had chosen it thus….and she had to accept responsibility, not shy away from it….The clouds cleared outside and sunlight flooded her portico.
She felt a deep sense of compassion for her parents , understanding their own sense of loss and pain.Her own resentment had added to their suffering.
She moved on….